Monday, 4 November 2013

Man of Steel

I would be the first to admit that I'm not a Superman fan but Man of Steel is the perhaps the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

My reasons are as follows.


1) The Kryptonians were made to look like twats by letting Zod flee the planet while they stayed and went on fire. 

2) Kevin Costner sacrificed himself for fuck all. 

3) Superman must have killed thousands of people in that last battle with Zod and yet... 

4)..despite declaring himself protector of the Earth, Superman twats Zod to death and then Screams With Emotion because he thinks he might have done the wrong thing by killing Zod. Meanwhile, Metropolis looks like Hiroshima. 

5) Superman meets some military officer in the desert next to a crashed helicopter (which Superman crashed into Zod's spaceship which then crashed into Metropolis causing thousands of deaths). The military chap looks at the helicopter then looks at Superman and says, 'That was a 65 million dollar helicopter.' Over their shoulders Metropolis is burning to the ground. 

6) Superman then goes somewhere else. The military bloke asks his aide why she's giggling and she says, 'Well, he is kind of hot.' 

Metropolis then burns to the ground without one scream or stampede of hysterical residents.

7) Russell Crowe as Gladiator as Superman's real dad.


Next Episode:

Danny Dyer